*Blink blink*

Tick-tick tock playing on symphony organ,
Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo~

Story unfolds in webbed toes,
This little Katak went to Zealand,
This little Katak left to Start,
This little Katak came back from Miri,
This little Katak is feeling numb.

By the wall they gathered,
By the wall they dwelled,
Croak croak croak~
Rain rain rain~
Katak by katak,
They jumped out the window,
Look for a lake and a colourful rainbow...

Oh? One little Katak alone by the wall,
Katak cannot croak,
Katak lost his voice...
When will this Katak jump out the window?

wait, what's this?

Goobye...future doctor ==''

To School for not School on Saturday?


It has been an interesting Saturday considering the fact that its the first time I had gone to school on Saturday for extra-curricular purposes...@@

I thought that school would be a busy place on a Saturday, but I guess it was just okay lo... Did something I've never done before, which is kinda like the reason I went to VAD. Yeas, VAD! Imagine me, assisting the healing process of another, not what I've expected, but thats the point, hehe...

The first meeting was... just moderate, but it could do, being as it is fun and all... some kind of fun. I guess that's how club meetings are like? Even after 5 years, I've never been to a club meeting that has a full package like that, but it all comes down to the first aid lessons starting next week, which I might not attend, =P.

Experienced something immensely funny, I was reversing my car in school while the the PBSM little kids were marching right into my behind, lol... The little girls on the front row was laughing, I was laughing even more cos they were chanting the kiri...kiri...kiri kanan kiri... when I was reversing into their direction, =P. Could not stop imagining human bowling pins...XD

*Sleeping... its becoming more and more important... its like you use it during the weekdays and you have to get the hours back on the weekends, == .

POST Overdue? - Estranged...

*sigh... I guess time doesn't heal, the unwanted past, the overlaying dust... There shall be no end to this... Everything changes, and I quote '' Everything is changing, but that doesn't mean it hasn't always been''. Nothing will ever be the same again, thats what makes those memories worth so much. I'm sorry to say reality is painful, even for the say-their-blessed ones...

I... I? This grudge is forever, but I think I have strayed far enough away from the depths, but still close enough just to be safe... I can hold a grudge longer than a woman, lol... Even if I laugh, I still have an in-use-heart-shaped pin cushion next to my lungs.

Now better than depression? Ever-changing emotions like our beloved streamyx connection...= =''


Saaate... to Form6. Its not bad, depressing, but your too busy to be depressed. Chem teacher got serious pronunciation n grammar issues... Maths1 teacher talks softer than Siao Fen... Maths2 is great so far... Physics teacher enthusiastic but lacks direction, somehow looks like he's acting smart but memang good in physics... Muet-Patricia good but lacks the ability to understand student's context in speech. Muet-Martin has local Malay-Eng accent as thick as Milo-O Kao, yet to see English awesomeness. PA teacher good sense of direction (while teaching), significant resemblance to Edna Mode in the Disney movie '' The Incredibles''. XD

Its great that its hard and keeps me busy, and Maths classes have been a great self-esteem booster, if you know what I mean, XDXD. Now for wuliaw complaints, table too low, parking a hustle, sickening weather, sickening car. (just to keep it short, =p)


*Note, so sat the Maong students, they turn off the fan and lights whenever we go lab, brings out respect in me towards em... Not like that sickening girl that sits besides the switches...>.>



Had an awakening >>> Even though you got JPA scholarship, you are still scum and worthless in my eyes. Yeas, I look down on some people...
Not such a good awakening, but still makes me feel better... XD + =P

The Island Of Labuan Has Claimed Another

KUCHING-13 On this day, Friday, 13th June 2008, the island of Labuan has claimed another youth (Waseh...this newsletter so sat, reporting today's incident in today's newsletter). Originating from Kuching, Sarawak, this youth was both the tennis player and Straight-A student in the SPM (Sijil Pelajaran Malaysia) . Prior to his departure towards Labuan, our reporters received comments from him such as '' See first lo...'', '' Just go nia lo...'' and ''...will study hard...''. Due to the lack of note jolting, these comments were solely based on the blur blur memory of our reporters on duty. Consequently, our reporters interviewed one of his friends since Primary 1, Jaws VK who said '' This guy... he was the first person I talked to on my first day in Primary 1, I can still remember vividly that moment as I looked at the duty rooster early in the morning where no one else was there... I asked him if he was ''Chong Jia Hua'' because those three words were the only Chinese characters I could read out completely among other names other than myself's under Monday. Surprisingly, he was, and I told him he had to sweep the floor and he swept the entire classroom by himself.'' Jaws told the reporters as he was reminiscing with a slight grin on his face. Jaws chuckled a little bit when he told the reporters that he later realised that he was also on duty on Monday after the form teacher taught the class how to read the duty rooster ''kinda paiseh I made him sweep the whole classroom on the first day of school, hehe...'' he added. Jaws said that that was just the beginning of all the memories they had together (friendship). Among other things, this youth is remembered by that persona, that smile... and that secret fetish towards rough cement poles, leaving behind a warning sign about ''wet cement'' (XDXD). As of hopes, wish this youth would do so well in Matriculation, thus doing his friends and family proud (hehe_promoting Digi some more...lol...).


你...记得要好好！

Disclaimer- this was actually made on Thursday night, LOLWTFBBQ, =p

Haihz... grrr... aaaarrrrhhhh.... this is my 4th depression! I can't believe this! This is soooooo not what I wanted, and 2008 looked so heng >.> just ''looked''.

Ngaitih, if I knew this is what I'd get, I should've just enjoyed myself more about life... Past sacrifices ARE SOOOOO FUCKING NOT WORTH THIS... #$@%#$@%$#@

Well, at least I heard people saying '' You should get it leh...'' and asked if I got it, somehow that makes me feel better la... XD. I stand tall when I say I was hardworking and I stand tall when I say I deserve it. Guess I screwed up the interview, ei? Isabel? Yes, there's one guy who is most deserving and did get it, one heng enough to get it,haha. I'm happy for em both, seriously, but there's also someone who I think should get it more than anyone I know, she really really deserves it...but she didn't get it... =( . If the government sees vet science as one of the critical sections, why only send 14 of em out??

Some people have fucking rich-assed parents that actually (had the money in the first place) and worked hard enough to get education and worked all the way up to save funding for offspring's education, enough for overseas some more! Some even when there's no point! Who's gonna ask you '' Where did you do you A-levels? Locally?'' =='' I disapprove of overseas Pre-U, just no point...waste of money... =P

Other parents just fail to think that far... they feel they deserve a life too, as miniature as they can get, studying hard and working their asses off all their life for their children just ent worth it. =='' Some parents live for their children, some just live for themselves... No matter how, all of both never works out perfectly... Parents like to say '' You study for yourself! You think you study for us, your parents arh har??'' Thats why some parents study for themselves, not for their children... Huh? Its that hard to look into the future? What about the future generation? I heed all, spread thee... No more saying of this studying for yourself crap! You study for the future and the people you appreciate in it! This doesn't only apply to your children la...


Hey you pathetic whiner! Stop freakin whine about what you don't/can't have and start thinking about what you have, you fuckin idiot!

== , Fine...>.> Okay, I ask myself, what do I love about my life? Errr... Internet and those dvdrip movies and even anime! Lol, thats all? Yea...== . WTF, that's so pathetic! Those things mean so little to ''LIFE''! Your depression levels can easily overcome those leh... Yealo...how? Got any others?? I don't think so... I cannot find motivation, no drive...nothing... and Italic goes ...


You know ar, this ''peculiar'' thing happened to me when I was lining up at the Shell station, fuel price rising tomorrow and all... I was alone in the car and I yelled ''Arrr!!! I WANT JPA SCHOLARSHIP!!! Y I DIN GET THE JPA SCHOLARSHIP!!!'' and right after I said that, Hitz.fm played ''Keep Holding On'' by Avril Lavigne, that theme song from Eragon. THAT SONG...those very lyrics that contradict everything I am, everything I feel in this situation... and at that moment I felt like an onion emoticon saying ''...'', which is my /... . It was like music was trying to say something to me... I even found a link to the lyrics if you don't know the song, lol
http://www.metrolyrics.com/keep-holding-on-lyrics-avril-lavigne.html

It wasn't the first time that happened, the first time i remembered was in 2005, the day the PMR results came out, the moment I made a death pact with myself, TVBS-G showed this music video from Nicholas Tze singing a Chinese song, something about bear your wounds, there will still be sun tomorrow... that music, those lyrics really spoke to me, but that day was quite the happy day... This time it happened on my 4th depression. ( feeling like an onion saying ''...'' here too...)

So... what now? You know, people like to remind me this ''Its not the end of the world!'' I know it isn't, but I still wish it would be... well, for me only cos I wouldn't want to jeopardize those who's new lives are just about to begin... Other than that, I can still think of something like '' Stop thinking about it la! Put it all behind you already!'' Yea, yea... but trying to forgetting it all, somewhat seems irresponsible...*raises left eyebrow*. Some people ''love'' form 6, I do not, seriously do not, there's nothing there that I want, nothing there I would want to want... Oi, what's so wrong about form6?? I could make an essay bout that...


What can I do? Ofcos I can make myself stop feeling sad, but there's just no drive to make me do it... unless someone decides to send me overseas, loL =( Sounds like I want to be sad? Ofcos I wanna be happy, but I don't think I deserve to be ...not like this... Death seems favourable, @@. Don't be surprised if I cease to physically exist in the near future...

Its 4 in the morning, feel so sad I cannot sleep...
Gosh, I really wanted it very badly...
Plus, I think I broke my longest word post record...

==''


Life has just hit a new low.




Slump in deep shit. >.>